Balm of friendship.

A friend. An acquaintance. Or simply a person know to you.

All these are fairly common words in our lives, maybe not so common for many people but it’s almost a general idea.

Though the occurance of these words in our lives may be common but the people who we use it for are indeed very special to say the least.

They are the magic in our lives whether you admit it or not. They are the light of our dark times whether you see them like that or not. They have an effect on you that you can feel as and when they’re having it.

You can not shadow this reality that friendship is the second best thing in your life after your kinship. C’mon family always comes first, I think for everyone. But yeah friends have their own sweet part in our life story and no one can fill their places.

I can only imagine a person’s life who has no friends or even people with whom they can interact with other than their own family. How they manage their lives? How they cope with loneliness? All these are such huge questions that pop up in my mind when I think about being a person as such. Honestly I don’t know what I would’ve done with my life, without my friends being the auxiliary support system for me after my family.

I owe so much to so many of them that this life wouldn’t be enough to pay them all back with the equal amount of care and love that they have blessed me with, knowingly and unknowingly. So this one’s kind of like a tribute to all of my friends.

Your problems are their problems too.

Probably the best feature of friends or I’ll like to say true friends, that they never tell you that ‘Hey man, that’s your problem. Deal with it yourself.’

They are more concerned about your concerns. They are hell bent on setting the very thing that’s troubling you off into space and you can think of any such extremes in the world and you’ll see your friends ready to dive into it for you.

Though I think some things you need to sort by yourself. But if you’ve ever told a friend about it, just forget about it. It’s not just your problem anymore, it’s a bothering thing for your friend as well.

You can’t hide anything from them. They can see through every lie of yours.

Thinking about keeping something secret or lying from your friends? Well go on and keep thinking only, cause you cannot do it in reality if you want to. It’s just not possible to do with true friends.

You can call this superhuman ability too but it’s actually quite common. If you’re friends with someone whom you’re quite close to, you can definitely feel what I’m trying to say here. Reading thoughts from the body language, identifying emotions by looking in the eyes and all kinds of stuff that thorough professionals use to solve mysteries.

Your common looking friends can suddenly turn into a full fledged investigators as soon as they smell something suspicious in the air that surrounds you.

So you see no point in lying unless you’re a hardcore liar who can even beat a lie detector machine but even then there are only slim chances of you scoring a lie and keeping a secret from your friends.

They can be far from you, but they’ll make sure they reach out to you.

Distances are merely numbers for friendship and friends. Talking about true friends once again. They’ll never fail to show up in the following three phases of your life;

– your happines

– your grief

– every little or big moment in your life.

Even if they do miss the opportunity, they’ll always make up for it whenever they’ll get the chance.

And his very nature of friends and friendship gives us the confidence in life that;

‘If I’ll be in a difficult time in this world, with all my harnesses taken away from me. Making me vulnerable to a fall. I’ll still go on to walk on the ledge of my life with this assurance with me, that I have a safety net of my friends who are present right there to break my fall and to rescue me in case I lose my balance.’

In conclusion;

I’d like to say that I can’t say anything else. Words are not enough to describe friendship and friends. Even though I tried but I think no matter how much you write about it, you never can describe it completely.

You can just feel it. Just see it change your life.

True friends and friendship only though, I’m highlighting once again.

Happy Friendship Day 2020. (◍•ᴗ•◍)

Growing the mind’s tree.

A tree and our mind both are in a way similiar to each other. Don’t think so? Okay let me explain,

Both are wonderful miracles of the creator.
Both of them are precious gifts for us. Both of them are a bare necessities for us and both of them grow and need our care in doing so.

So that explains the realton between a tree and our mind. Thus making my title apt. A basic condition fulfilled here.

Now as I said, like a tree our mind also grows in it’s own way, in the sense physical growth and in a sense of complexity of it’s working too.

Growing your mind in a right way isn’t easy. Infact it’s so difficult that people tend to ignore this phenomenon in the worst case scenario and in the least messed up one, people aren’t aware of the things they did or are doing wrong in developing their mind.

Okay before moving forward a quick word on what mind is according to what I feel.

A mind isn’t a physical thing always. As I see it, it has no form or face. It’s a state or as populous says a state of mind. Or broadly you can say it is a combination of both, the physical form which amounts as our brain and the intangible part that makes up for our mind i.e; basically all our thoughts, emotions and memories etc.

So now we can finalize this blog by getting to the real point, how to grow a healthy tree of our mind?

The seeds you plant would stay there forever, choose them wisely.

There’s a popular saying in Hindi which translates in English as well,

‘जो बोएगा वहीं पाएगा।’ meaning ‘you’ll reap what you sow.’

The same goes for our mind as well.

Our mind is made up of what, tissues, neurons, veins, blood etc. Yes, but that’s the physical part. But what actually makes for the functional part of our mind, our deeds, our actions, our thoughts and basically everything that we see or hear everyday. Each one of those amounts for the quality of our mind’s state.

Better memories, good deeds, peaceful moments and enriching activities like yoga, exercising, reading etc they all make up for the key ingredients for solid roots of our mind’s tree. Yes, gonna start from the rock bottom first. It’s really really important to accommodate as much positive things as we possibly can in our mind.

Cause once we sow the seeds of anything in our mind, they tend to sink deep into our consciousness and if you plant a bad seed at some point in time you may never get the opportunity to dig it back from the depths of your mind.

Nothing grows without nutrition, care is also the prime need.

You must’ve seen TV commercials endorsing protein drinks for children which helps them grow faster. Nutritional drinks is what people often call them. They are pretty handy when someone lacks the natural ability to gain nutrition.

Likewise our mind also needs it’s own kind of nutrients to help it grow and grow strongly. Now I’ll not go into technicalities as I don’t know them one and two you won’t give a damn even if I told you somehow what they are so keeping it real simple.

Those nutrients can be the most common of the things to begin with like, a good session of laughter or a brisk walk at the dawn time or a long reading fiesta and anything like that can act as catalysts to good positive growth for our mind.

Now another big thing in order for sustainable growth, unconditional and responsible care for the mind’s well being ( something that’s scarcely done ritually these days. ) Just like a growing tree we need to keep a check on our mind too. Just like we trim and tend to a tree to maintain it’s shape and help it grow more, we ought to keep our mind in the spectrum as well.

With the right amount of both, the tree of our mind would grow on with time and wil be beautiful and lavish with lots of fruits of mindfulness.

Oh one more important thing,

Pests, rodents, insects and diseases are the enemies of your mind’s beautiful tree. They are the ones who envy the greenery of our mind. ( Now I hope you know which pests I’m talking about. So take care of them as well, not in the caring sense okay but in the getting rid of sense. )

In the end,

Mind is a very very complex thing to understand, comprehend and to commentate about. As most of it is just an untouchable free flowing thing which we only feel. And given the fact that we only use a minimum % of our brain’s original capacity, matters would only get more tangled with time and not at all easy.

So it’s better to just focus mostly on what you know and cherish what you have with you.

May your mind’s tree grow up and be a very healthy and strong one.

Adios, one love. ❤️

When habits turn into addiction.

Habits. The certain traits or behaviour of a person which reflects the regularity of any event in a person’s life. e.g. reading books is a habit one can have. Or making your bed every morning after waking up etc.

Habits make for an important part of our everyday life, they make us who we are. They’re just like our second identity after our name. In other words, they’re like the little buttons of qualities on the coat of our personality that keep it together and keep it in good sense of fashion.

But just like every other thing in the universe, habits have a grey side too. Meaning the negative or the inappropriate habits we have. Which honestly are in bigger numbers compared to the former ones.

These bad habits contrary to the good ones are like blots of ink or spills of coffee on the coat of our personality, which make us look shabby and unattractive to the common folk.

You’ve probably heard of the phrase ‘some habits die hard’. Well these bad ones are like them only, easy to conjure but hard to break free from.

Now even with all of these negative traits at hand one can joyfully dwell further in their life without very serious consequences. But when these habits go a little out of control to become an addictive thing in our life, then the flags start going up in our life and we start to suffer in plenty.

So let’s see why a bad habit or any habit for instance shouldn’t become an addiction in life.

You won’t be the same person ever again.

The fundamental benifit of acquiring a habit in our life is that it changes us forever. It changes how we act, how we think and also how we react. And generally this is in a good sense too.

But only till it is a positive or constructive habit like, being physically fit, like reading and writing or working for one’s mental health. As and when we develop a negative habit in our life and as and when that habit becomes our addiction we set our course of journey to a disastrous and unpleasant destination which ruins our life to sone extent.

Remember bad habits are not the problem, them changing into your life’s motto or as I said addiction is. You can definitely live with a handful of bad habits along with good ones but you cannot go far with even a single sort of addiction for a negative thing in your life.

Ours habits shape our personality and you’d never want it be a flawed one.

Trust me they do. No matter how much you try to overrule it, it’ll be a fact. Our habits are the pillars on which our personality is built. A strong foundation of good and life defining habits make for a stable and applaudable personality.

But just imagine a personality built upon those addictive negative traits of yours. Just imagine for once, how damaging would that be for the future you. You have no idea how much!

For the easiest and the most apt example, take copying in examinations as a habit. Many people do have this tendency inside them and they take it a long way too if they’re not caught in the act at any point in their lives. Now this will not only affect their knowledge and learning process in their academic career but in thr longer run reflect in their personality and general conduct too. They’ll be so used to cheating or shortcuts or easy ways that they may end up doing wrong things in life. All because of a bad habit that turned into an addiction.

In the end..

Begin some new habits that you think can change your life in a positive way.

And don’t let your destructive habits rule over you and make you their slave.

Be happy, be thoughtful and enjoy life as it comes to you.

One love ❤️🤘🏾

Emotional distancing..

You must be thinking, ‘ Dude, it’s social distancing not emotional distancing..! ‘

But no you’re wrong here, emotional distancing it is today.

What..?

Never heard of it?

Never been a part of it?

Never practised it?

Oh I know you’ve heard about it.

I know you have been through it.

And I know you and I have also done it sometimes too.

So today we’ll talk about this, we’ll think about this and well.. we’ll see what’s up..?

Okay, let’s begin..

A world full of people, but a life that’s actually void of them.

There are literally billions of people other than us around the globe. So many that one can not meet them all in one lifetime. We have people in our home, people in our school, people in our college, people in our workplace, people where we go for a vacation and even people where we see our last rites.

‘ Hey man.. what you’re trying to say is really flying past our heads. Will you please just cut to the chase..! ‘

Alright, all I’m saying is, despite of world being this big and people being everywhere we go, are there enough people in our life actually? Even if they are why do we feel lonely and abandoned despite of being surrounded by people? And why do people suffer alone without any aid?

The answer is what the title says only, we refrain from having emotional attachment with people and we don’t try to get into stuff that doesn’t benifit us. People may be there with us physically but very seldom they are there psychologically too and that is the biggest reason for feeling alienated.

Again I’m not talking about all of us, but a vast number of us who are sans support, sans attention and sans someone’s emotions and care cause of this tendency of others around them. We are not ready to sacrifice our comfort to help others, which first started as a scarce ideology but which over the time bacame a Mantra for people but a wrong one indeed.

We’ve gradually become very insensitive and harsh beings. Which is not at all in good spirit of life.

If you believe what they say and disregard what you know, sorry my friend nothing’s gonna save you.

You may or may not agree, but maximum percentage of our problems are born out of our own doing. We are the ones who put ourselves in them but we just lack the spine to accept it. Talk of a bad habit or a wrong deed that you did, yes other things can influence us and raise those problems in our life too but on most of the occasions it is us who are to be blamed over everything else.

Likewise, if you think what they say bout you is the actual truth rather than what you know concretely about yourself then the actual culprit for your degradation is only you and not them.

Toxic people will always try to push away the people who aren’t affected by their poison ‘the good people’. The people who care, who think about others too nd not just for ‘selves they are their enemies of sorts. And the biggest weapon in their arsenal is this ‘ emotional distancing ‘ only. They try to break you psychologically by keep sabotaging your emotional appetite from the people. Which eventually leads to you losing faith in emotionality and sympathy.

So my friend, you need to do 2 things to remove these people off of your life,

First, identify who they are and throw them so far away from your conscience that you can’t see them again.

And second, stop self doubting and know what the heck you really are. You know yourself better than anyone else, so listen to everyone but always believe your own self.

Sometimes it’s necessary, but don’t ever make it a habit.

Yes, it’s absolutely necessary to maintain a fine amount of emotional distance from people because you need to give people their room. Being too emotionally involved with or for anyone may have adverse effects too. There should be a balance of closeness as well as distancing from a person in your life.

But as I said, a very fine amount of it should be there. Otherwise what you’ll be doing with your life would be,

Either getting involved in the lives of so many people that you cannot handle all of them on your own.

Or you’d be like a human island or sorts, which will be covered with an ocean of distance from attachments and emotions from every side. Making it impossible to reach to you without a certain kind of effort like building a boat of very fond human relations which let me tell you are hard to find today. Or to land on the shores of your mind via an aeroplane of some extraordinary luck.

Keep your distance when it’s necessary but always open up when the situation demands for it. ❤️

Conclusion,

Emotionality and compassion are the need of the hour. The world has become a hard place to live and surviving is getting harder everyday. People around you are too suffering in some capacity or another, sometimes maybe even more than you.

So please be more sympathetic, please let those constructive emotions flow out of your body and heal the world with it’s magic. Also let those negative emotions drain away as you express them and feel less heavy with every confession.

And be more human and less like a machine day by day.

Stay strong. Saty pumped up.

One love (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

Kindness can save the world.

It’s a very simple thing. Being kind, having compassion and resolving to a humanitarian approach in everything. This little quality of ours has the power to melt entire icebergs of hate and hopelessness and has the potential of going a long way to make a positive life altering effect in the world.

People are running as fast as they can everyday to stay in this race called life.

They’re getting bumps, they’re attaining bruises, they’re falling apart, they’re recollecting and they’re trying so hard everyday so that they can be seen in this world. So that they too can have a stake. And in this cruel but necessary excercise most of them are ignorant about anything that pertains to their or other’s wellness.

They’re waiting for miracles to happen and they’re chancing upon the likelihood of getting everything that they want. And they are doing it all to be loved one day, they’re doing it all to see themselves happy one day. Which in the end most of them are not. They’re rotting in their own darkness with little to no one to light a flame. They’re getting buried in remorse and crucified by regrets and they’re suffering it all by themselves. No one to say ‘I’m proud of you’, nobody to appreciate their presence. And so people are residing to end everything in an instant by eliminating their worthless dreams or sadly even their own existence.

I don’t know why people aren’t more human anymore? I don’t understand what they’ll lose, if they’ll throw lifebuoys for the people who are drowning in the life’s bay? And I don’t know how they can be so judgey about those who are drowning while they have no idea about what actually put them over there? Questions like these are in a truckload or bigger and answers only a cart full I’m afraid.

So guess I’ll never know the answers to these burning questions and people would keep running restlessly in their races.

But,

All I know is that people who care are doing their magic and they’re making so many lives less complicated with their presence.

All I know is that people who have suffered and then successfully recovered are sharing their life’s experiences and making people see they too can win one sweet day.

And all I know is that kindness can save this world and it’s people, which is why I’ll never let this thing go out of my to do list and be in my habit everyday.

***

Dedicated to everyone.

Keep loving, keep spreading the light of kindness.

One love ❤️

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